Although Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in her novel, “Eat, Pray, Love,” “This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something,” trying to come out of the other side of a relationship can be really difficult. While in time, fondness can grow for the mistakes that were made and the love that wasn’t meant to last, it’s rare that, with your eyes still swollen from tears, you can see clearly just how important the relationship was — or how important every relationship is — as well as the people with whom you were in those relationships.
Where The Mom From Married… With Children Is TodayEach person who comes into our lives leaves an indelible mark. Whether or not we choose to acknowledge the mark is up to us to decide, but it doesn’t mean it ceases to exist just because we may try to ignore it. It’s there, it’s part of us, and it should be given, at least, some sort of gratitude. At the end of your life, you’ll be a culmination of all the things you’ve experienced — good and bad — and pieces of all the people you loved and lost. If you can embrace that with open arms, shedding any bitterness from your bones, then you’re ready for one of the best, if not the best, dating trends out there: Grande-ing.
What’s Grande-ing?Nicholas Hunt/Getty ImagesIn 2019, Ariana Grande released “Thank U, Next,” and it immediately became a pro-ex anthem. Unlike other songs that might drag an ex and their name through the mud, “Thank U, Next,” is an ode to the men Grande has dated and loved and the positive effects they’ve had on her. As the lyrics read: “One taught me love/One taught me patience/And one taught me pain/Now, I’m so amazing/Say I’ve loved and I’ve lost/But that’s not what I see/So, look what I got/Look at what you taught me/And for that, I say/Thank you, next (next)…” The recognition of how “amazing” she is thanks to her exes has, of course, been turned into a dating trend known as Grande-ing. And it’s actually quite good for you.
“You are essentially practicing gratitude, thankfulness and reducing negative thoughts, emotions and feelings in your life overall, which can have many mental health benefits,” relationship expert and dating writer Sarah Louise Ryan tells Metro. “Practicing gratitude … is the practice of positive psychology … If you can take a leaf out of the Grande-ing book you are essentially letting go of what was not meant for you and opening the door for something new, perhaps someone new that is actually meant for you.”
As Grande writes in her lyrics, you’re not just thanking your ex, but you’re acknowledging that it’s time to move on to the “next” person who, whether the relationship lasts or not, will become another lesson, experience and imprint on your heart — and a positive one if you treat the breakup in a positive light.
Why Grande-ing is going to be big in 2023John Shearer/Getty ImagesAlthough Grande’s song came out in 2019, we didn’t have long to practice what she preached before we were hit with Covid in early 2020. As the world was left wondering what the future held, people started to re-evaluate their lives and how they wanted to live them if the world ever returned to normal. By the time mid-2021 rolled around, and things started to look hopeful, there was a rise of “intentional dating,” in which people didn’t swipe on apps or date IRL with the same cavalier attitude as they did before the pandemic. Instead, there was a shift of priorities.
“People tended to swipe too much on dating apps, trying to find their ‘perfect type,’ which doesn’t exist,” matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking Susan Trombetti tells PureWow. “[They’ve] gained a big dating pool of people that take relationships more seriously, and that has been a wonderful tradeoff for any opportunities you feel you lost. When you do connect with someone, they aren’t as superficial about dating and your chances of building a real relationship have increased dramatically.”
Now, here we are coming up on three years since we first heard the word Covid and people have settled into where they want to be and what they want out of life, making it primetime to infuse intentional dating with a healthy dose of Grande-ing. So find gratitude in your exes. Relish in it. Dig as deep as you need to and realize how much better you are for loving someone than losing them. Being grateful for the loss and surviving the loss is what builds real character. In other words, 2023 is going to be a big year for love.
Source: glam.com
