I became a mother only four months ago. I got a lot of good advice during my pregnancy. I really appreciate them, but there are things no one will tell you, so I will.
Pregnancy is something you will miss – well, maybe just certain times. I miss feeling his kicking feet in the morning and the way he reacted to certain music or his father’s voice. I also miss that sense of peace knowing that he is in a safe place, protected from the cruel world outside that he has yet to know.
During the recovery period, you will have to deal not only with the physical consequences but also with the mental ones. Stretch marks, tears, and scars from surgery are by no means the only problem. You’ll just be used to being one for so long that when you become two, your whole being will yearn to be one again. You will cry all the time and about everything. The smallest thing will cause an emotional reaction.
You will cry about all the little things during the day, and in the evening you will continue to cry because he is asleep and you already miss him.
Your significant other will never get things right or be good enough. You will feel alone. Although he will do his best and try to help you in any way he can, something inside of you will always tell you that it is not enough. What comes naturally to us is missing in them. Appreciate his effort and help. Make sure he gives his best.
Many of your friends will simply forget about you. With a bit more luck, there might be a few left, but overall, you’ll start communicating more with women in your situation.
Postpartum depression is a tough time. Everyone experiences it in their own way and with different strengths. If you feel it’s getting too much, seek help! Do not be shy! Most women go through the same thing, and it can be really scary.
You’ll probably be hesitating whether to breastfeed or formula feed. The most painful thing in this case will not be the physical side of things, but the fact that everyone will judge you, regardless of which way you choose. It’s your baby, make the decision yourself.
The little baby that once fit inside you will mushroom, and you will only begin to realize it when its clothes shrink.
It will be extremely difficult for you to return to work. No matter how much you trust the person who will be watching it, it just won’t be you. You will never be the same again – mentally and emotionally. The moment you give birth, you become a different person. Just accept it.
When you get home, you’ll want to spend most of your time with your baby, soaking up every moment. Do it! Housework can wait. You’ll know how much he needs Mommy when he clings to your blouse and looks up at you with wide eyes the moment you lie down next to him. These are the moments that make you both feel happy and safe.
And even though no one tells you these things, you learn them yourself over time.
Be sure you are doing great. Sometimes this is quite enough.
