Author: Nacy

“On August 25, 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our daughter Ari. I have never been so scared and excited at the same time. Ari made her surprise appearance at only 27 weeks weighing only 2 lbs. I waited to hear her cry but there were no sounds as she was rushed to NICU. The doctor looked at me and said ‘she is very small and they are working on her’. An emotional nightmare was just starting. Courtesy of Stacey Castleman Finally the next day I was able to go to NICU. As I looked in the isolet…

Often, when people go through prolonged ᴘᴀɪɴ, trauma, and ʟᴏss, keeping hope can seem challenging. However, it should never be forgotten that, no matter how dark it may seem, things will end up in place. Some of the most ᴘᴀɪɴꜰᴜʟ and ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ life experiences change people in ways they never thought possible. Today’s story covers a similar theme and is about the power of hope, faith, love, and miracles. Courtney and Eric Waldrop had already formed a party in high school. The two of them had always felt like there was an invisible bond between them. They went to college…

“The best moments of my life run together in a happy blur. I remember feeling elated as my dad gave the toast at my wedding, but I don’t remember the words he spoke. I remember the intense love I felt for my first child when she was born but I don’t recall what I said as the nurse placed her in my arms. But when it comes to my worse moments, I remember every detail. The worst moment of my life happened while sitting on a clinic bed covered in white crinkled paper. My husband Andy, called me just an…

“I am one of those people who had her life planned out at age ten. Become a teacher, get married, have kids. And life pretty much followed. I went to Hope College, became a teacher in Allendale, married Sam, and had two kids – Zoe and Eli. In the summer of 2017, Sam and I decided it was time to add number three to our family. We found out in November that we were expecting. One day in December, I began experiencing severe abdominal pain. I went to the hospital terrified I was having a miscarriage. The ultrasound tech showed…

“Before my daughter was born I did not spend much time picturing her. Some of that was because I was still a resident physician during my pregnancy and worked pretty much up until the day I delivered. I was too busy and tired for daydreams. Some of it had to do with us not finding out the gender so baby did not have a name yet. Either way though, I did not imagine her hair, her nose, or her dimples, I made assumptions. I assumed she would have a heart that worked properly. I assumed she would nurse, cry, and…

“June 26 was the day the doctors told me my second daughter has cancer. 2 days after my second wedding anniversary. 5 days after my 30th birthday. And 9 days after she was born. Neuroblastoma. Courtesy Devin Landmeier Courtesy Devin Landmeier In the days following her diagnosis I fought hard not to grow resentful of parents with healthy children-the ones ignorant to the weight I now carried on my shoulders instead of in my belly. I struggled with the impulse to divulge her complete (and very full) medical history in response to a compliment from a stranger or well-meaning friend.…

“What is my story? It’s a question I’ve thought about over and over gain. A question that’s made me realize I do, in fact, have a story and a voice. So, I’m going to answer that first. I’m a biracial female. A wife and mother to four beautiful and amazing children. I grew up in the south during the 80s. I was always asked questions like, ‘What are you? What are you mixed with?’ People were always trying to figure me out. My mother is white and I grew up with her side of the family. From kids to adults,…

“It has been over 5 years since I set foot in a church building. I doubt I’m going back. Check that, I have no intention whatsoever of going back. The reasons I stopped are complex, a woven tapestry of questions and difficulties, which ultimately left me questioning, then abandoning my faith. Not the least of which is the problem of suffering, which is too big of a topic for today. I could write for days about the many layers of it, but I need to start with the single biggest hurt. A hurt so deep it took five years to…

“‘At least he doesn’t…’ As a special needs parent, I hear this all the time. When you ‘at least’ me as a complex parent, I feel minimized. I feel shut up. I feel shut down. I feel unheard. I feel compared. I feel invalidated. I don’t let very many people into our lives, at least not in person. Mostly because I’m spent. I’ve been spent for a darn long time. And one of the reasons I’m spent is because of things like ‘at least.’ I know people mean well, I give them the benefit of the doubt. And I also…

“Christmas time is hard in the life of a special needs family. It’s hard, sad, painful, yet magical and full of joy at the same time. Our Christmas is different from yours. Courtesy of Chelsea Wasden Courtesy of Chelsea Wasden We won’t have a little voice waking us up on Christmas morning. No toddler running around opening presents. No excited screams when they see what Santa brought. It’s struggling with gift ideas. What do you get a non-mobile, non-verbal child? It’s walking past all the cool toys at the front of every store, wishing our child could play with them.…

“After 10 years of being together, my boyfriend and I decided we were ready to have a baby. We tried for almost a year and then it finally happened. It’s kind of funny how I found out I was pregnant. I had a wisdom tooth that had been really bothering me and I finally got an appointment with the dentist. I was filling out all the paperwork and it asked, ‘Could you be pregnant?’ I sat there trying to figure out what to put. I mean yeah, I guess I could be because we have been trying, but I’m pretty…

“As soon as Guyana saw the nuns, she lunged toward them from my arms. ‘I’m so hungry and thirsty!’ she squeaked in Armenian. ‘Will you feed me?’ They hustled her away to the room where my new daughter had spent nearly all of her first five years. And I sat down on the orphanage couch and absolutely lost it, sobs shaking my hadn’t-eaten-in-several-days body. Had I just made the biggest mistake of my life? I had been raised in a foster and adoptive family. From the moment I lay my eyes on my first foster brother, I felt something stir…

Disclaimer: This story includes images of child loss that may be triggering to some. “‘I’m sorry, but the severity of the hygroma leads me to believe the baby will not make it.’ ‘Not fit for life,’ is what they told us. ‘You won’t make it past three months.’ Hearing these words come out of the specialist’s mouth was the last thing we expected to hear. We were 14-and-half-weeks pregnant with our second child and I’m pretty sure, at this point, my faith in the universe was diminishing. Becoming mothers has taken my wife, Lisa, and I down the road less…

Down Syndrome Diagnosis “I was walking into work when I got the call. ‘You have a 1 in 150 chance of giving birth to a baby with trisomy 21 otherwise known as Down syndrome,’ Tri-what? Did she just say Down syndrome? I spent the rest of the day in a fog, unable to focus on the tasks at hand, trying my hardest to hold back the tears. Thinking back, I’ve had friends with Down syndrome since middle school, throughout high school, and even in the church, so I knew what it felt like to experience their contagious joy. I spent…

“In January 2017, my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 10 weeks gestation. My husband and I were devastated. We immediately started trying again and became pregnant six months later. There were so many mixed emotions when we saw the positive pregnancy test. We were so happy to be pregnant but scared of having another miscarriage. We had our first OB appointment at 9 weeks and heard a beautiful heartbeat, something we didn’t get to experience with our first pregnancy. We decided to do genetic screening to find out what our chances were for miscarrying again. We were also…

Disclaimer: This story includes graphic images of child loss and may be triggering to some. “Jim and I have been together since February 2011. I knew right away he was the one, although it took him a little longer to realize the same. We got married on September 25th, 2016. Before you knew it, we found out I was pregnant about 4 months into our marriage. We were absolutely ecstatic. We learned the baby was a boy and quickly began planning for our beautiful life. We moved out of our apartment and into our home. Courtesy of Allison McCafferty Photography…

“Baby Nathan was born full-term October 2018, weighing just two pounds, but before he was born, doctors had already begun to notice he was small. They had my wife, Pamela, visit a specialist at the end of her second trimester. That’s when it was confirmed Nathan was not growing normally. ‘I prepared myself for him being small. I prepared myself for the dwarfism, for whatever came my way,’ said Pamela. Courtesy of Armando and Pamela Courtesy of Armando and Pamela He wasn’t premature, so Nathan’s size confused physicians. He was in the NICU for observation for 2 months, during this…

“This is the unseen life of a special needs parent. I hesitated sharing this picture for a few reasons. 1) Between my mask and tears, the makeup on one side of my nose dissolved and made me look a bit like one of Santa’s reindeer. 2) I am still wiped this evening over the event that led up to this picture. 3) I’m not looking for your pity. However, I am hoping for your understanding. Not just of me and my family, but of a special needs parent in your life. I took this picture after my son with Down…

“It never fails. Writing on the Internet, like most things, brings it shares of joys and frustrations. But sometimes it brings full on heartbreak. Whenever I write a post about my son with Down syndrome that goes viral–90% of the comments are kind and supportive. 9% of commenters may disagree with my stance, and that’s just fine. But then there are about 1% of people who say my son doesn’t belong here. Some of those comments on a recent post included: ‘Well, you chose not to have an abortion, so.’ ‘Should have aborted.’ ‘Abortion.’ It never fails. Does my son have…

“Those two little pink lines took us by complete surprise. I mean… we were planning our wedding. Not exactly the best time to find out we were also having a baby. But that didn’t stop our excitement. We were going to be parents, and we felt that thrill to our core. We were filled with dreams about our baby… seeing those first steps, and hearing those first words. The sports games or dance recitals, the transition into teenage years. Eventually, watching our children have families of their own, and our turn at spoiling grandkids. The future was bright, and it…

“Everyone asks how we got here, how two unmarried twenty-somethings ended up choosing to pursue foster care together. How they simply came to the conclusion this was right, that they were equipped enough, that their lives were flexible enough, that they could co-parent similarly enough to say yes to something so life-altering. Perhaps it was high school, where I officially met Amanda and her sister, Madison, after years of being raised in the same neighborhood and in similar circles, around several mutual friends. It was there we connected on our love for kids and a newfound interest in international adoption…

“When I was young and had pictured my life and future, I never would have imagined I would have a child with special needs, much less two. But what I have learned over the years is God puts you on a path you’re meant to be on and with people that forever change you. The challenges we face don’t destroy us. They define us and make us who we are. The emotions and excitement that came with knowing I was finally pregnant after months of trying are indescribable. I was ecstatic and so relieved we had finally found our way…

“I hold his hands. He holds my heart. Wyatt is turning 3 soon, and he is working so hard on walking. He can walk with his walker, but he prefers my hands. He started by grasping both of mine, tightly, and I let him guide me, where ever he wanted to go. Lately, he tends to reach for one of my hands instead of two, and he’s even started to let go and take some independent steps. He’s still working on balance and he is challenged by his low muscle tone. It’s hard for him but he wants, so badly,…

“On April 19th, 2020, we found out the best news: we were expecting our rainbow 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 after experiencing a devastating miscarriage in February 2020. When I read the pregnancy test, I was ecstatic but also terrified of losing again. After the emotions I went through when I went through, carrying this 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦 felt so much scarier. I felt like I was walking on eggshells for the first trimester, praying constantly nothing would go wrong. I had been pregnant before—my older daughter Savannah had just turned 3 when we found out we were pregnant with our rainbow 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑦, but it was…